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The Chronicles of Zippy

I am trying my hand at game show development:

[Upbeat theme, lots of horns.]

[Announcer:] It’s time to play America’s favorite puppy game show, it’s Guess the Hand! With America’s favorite puppies, Zippy and Daisy! [The audience would go nuts here.]

[Announcer:] Let’s meet our contestants. Zippy is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. His hobbies are food, eating, and looking for crumbs. Daisy is a Corgi mix who enjoys hiking up hills, digging in the yard and napping. If everyone is ready, let’s play... Guess the Hand! [The audience would go nuts again.]

[Host:] All right, contestants, you’ll be playing for one of two delectable dog treats. I will hide one of the treats in my right hand, and the other in my left. Your mission is to guess the hand with the treat. Ready?

[Jaunty, anticipatory music as host—or possibly his Lovely Female Assistant—juggles treats between his hands behind his back, out of view of the contestants. At music finale, host (or LFA) holds out both hands, each concealing a treat. Contestants guess which hand holds a treat by fixing a stare at one of the two hands.]

[Dramatic music. Host:] Is that your final answer? [Contestants continue to stare.]

[Host, with grave concern:] You do understand that once time runs out, you cannot change your guess?

[One of the contestants decides to look at the same hand the other contestant has chosen, then reconsiders and goes with gut instinct.]

[Host:] Is that your final answer? [Contestants continue to stare. Split-screen closeup of each contestant drooling.]

[Fanfare music. Host:] Ta-da! [Host or LFA drops treats for contestants. Each contestant chows down on selected treat.]

See? Everybody wins, everybody eats, everybody is happy. That’s how it would be if Corgis could develop game shows.

posted by Zippy 03/29/2004 3:09 PM ^^

 

The days are getting longer. It is time to shed.

Being a Corgi, I shed all the time, but it is time to free myself of a winter coat. I do this by shooting out big tufts of fur instead of just dropping individual hairs.

It makes me look weird for a while, but soon I will feel light and fancy-free. And that's the way it should be.

posted by Zippy 03/19/2004 6:08 PM ^^

 

Do you smell that? That is the delectable scent of the toaster staying on a little bit too long. Mmmm, charcoal.

And that, my friends, means Dog Toast.

See if you can guess what happens next.

Zippy is offered Dog Toast

posted by Zippy 03/09/2004 9:50 AM ^^

 

Today is my birthday! Yay!

I have had a very yummy birthday. I mean, a very fun birthday. (To a Corgi, those concepts are interchangeable, anyway.)

My present was my very own dog park! Well, kinda. My folks fenced off a big portion of our large side yard just for us. The workmanship is the very definition of “amateur,” because it is just a big roll of plastic garden mesh hung on those metal fence posts, which are stuck partially into the ground. It’s temporary until real landscaping magically happens (we all know if it happens on my folks’ watch, it has to be magic), but it works for us. We have been running around at top speed all afternoon. We will sleep tonight.

In fact, I hope I can stay awake long enough for cake!

posted by Zippy 03/06/2004 4:00 PM ^^

 

It has been stormy and rainy for many days. Today it finally cleared up and we don’t have to be cooped up inside.

This morning we went to our new favorite park. We walked and walked, which made us tired.

When we got back home, we decided that a nap was in order. Being a beautiful day, an outdoor nap was called for. It is wonderful to sleep in the sun.

Zippy asleep with his tongue sticking out

And I always have looked marvelous with my tongue sticking out.

posted by Zippy 03/02/2004 1:40 PM ^^

 


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